i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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