I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
