He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
