Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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