Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
