Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
