I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
