It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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