shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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