He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
