He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
