That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
