Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
