i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
