I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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