I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
