you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
