Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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