i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
