You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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