i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
