...so i touched it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
