Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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