you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
