Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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