Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
