the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
