No stitches, just platelets and will power
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So much rum. So many feels.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
