How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
