well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
