You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
