But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
