Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
