Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
