I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
