She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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