i don't want you to think of me as your TA
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
