You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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