I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
