your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
