i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she pinky promised me she was 18
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
