You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
