I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
