i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
As shirtless as possible
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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