when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
