i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
