It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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