And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
