its not stalking. its research.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
