I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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